So Indie and Charlie went to the Ball. One in a frock and one in a suit. This year Indie was the only chick in a suit. Suffice to say, we got some attention. In the bathrooms, on the dancefloor, by the oldbians, by the babydykes, by the grads.... I'll let Indie fill you in on the tutu wearing princess. Indie is in lusty luscious red font today.
Okay, so we first walk in and hardly anyone is there. We're early to get first hands into the food, drinks and watch the ladies in their dresses flow in. Oldbian spots us almost immediately. My interest dwindles until the food comes out and more women enter the room. Then tutu princess comes in and she seems to give us the eye too. But I'm pretty sure I've met her on some other occasion (yep, probably outside Cube NOT smoking). She likes my suit, she wanted to wear one too but decided to dress like punk tutu princess instead, she doesn't remember that we've met (I think), but my hair is different...again. She eventually sits down next to us and we awkwardly converse until she finally asks me if Charlie and I are together. I'm pretty sure by now everyone in Canberra thinks Charlie and I are an item. Yes they do, hence the necessity for T-SHIRTS!!
Lets you and me have a little time, to discuss the lovely Ms T.
So, here we are people. I had already put the wheels in motion with Indie that I would no doubt stalk track T. down during the evening and introduce her. THEN regale T. with my charm and stabbingly good sense of humour, until she unwittingly fell into the lure of my lesbian entrapment…. Obviously, this is a total and utter fantasy (that last line anyway).
But I take some comfort in a) we had a number of nice chats. b) when she took off her heels to dance she didn’t take them to her table, she left them at mine (admittedly I was closer). BUT I reckon it was an excuse to come back, hey hey??? c) she was wearing a green silk dress. Speck – GREEN SILK. I love green. It was a sign. It’s fate, kismet even!! and d) she doesn’t look OVERly straight to me. Case closed. Glad we sorted that out
Indie surmised that she wasn’t that attractive. But attractiveness us quite a subjective thing, and I find some features ‘interesting and/or appealing’, and therefore cool. Anyway I digress because T is most likely to be a raging heterosexual and her occasional glances at me were probably along the lines of “why is that strange woman grinning at me like a moron? Come other straight women, let’s pick up our skirts and go to some safe respectable bar, very much unlike the filthy gay bar that they will eventually end up in”.
Anyway. I just like having fun with the idea of these things. I just want her to find me devastatingly witty, and not pull the boyfriend card that's all. I also want to be a rainbow coloured unicorn. But somehow it seems that I am bound to only get SOME things that I want in this world. Still waiting on whether the unicorn thing will pan out....
I said enough about T. Time to tell you about Gypsy Girl.
Gypsy Girl was dancing in a group next to my table. A long red dress with sparklyness and long dark hair. She had her hips in my line. Couldn't help but notice. And sure enough, oldbian was also dancing in this circle. Typical. I proceeded to dance with Gypsy Girl. Yep, no oldbian. Just me and her. How did that happen? I won't go into too much detail but she liked me. I then got distracted by Charlie. That bitch (love you, CCC). Sorry darling. She reeled me back in. Next thing I know, GG has gone. Where? Where would she go? It would seem the night was coming to an end.
Got a few comments on the dress from oldbian no 1 and 2. Nothing from Gen X, Y or X/Y. Boo.
There was that one time in the evening where the band is forced to trot out every song with a dance move attached. I became painfully aware of the generation gap when Indie said to me "you actually know this??' when I was pounding the dancefloor to "Nutbush City Limits". "um, yes, doesn't everyone?". No. No, they don't. Gen X fail. I've constructed a brutally childlike cartoon to illustrate this music cultural divide. Apparently, this is not actually a generational gap but I think it's because I'm foreign. I can't do this dance. They'll take my kiwiness from me if I *gulp* line-dance.
Apart from the fact that Charlie and I looked super-hot and super-gay as we played dress-up role-playing lesos, we failed to score. And we even were tempted to go home straight after the ball but we prevailed and wasted some time at Cube. Charlie had the hots for some trans-man (who was clearly attracted to boys). Fail. You're still a bit hetero, Choppy. :/ See me after class Miss Indiana Kiwifruit.
I was in pain because my suit combo included heels (yes, yes, shocking I know). And the two of us went home. Alone. I woke up later in agony. I had a coccyx injury. How the hell did I fuck up my coccyx? There is no woman in my bed. I double-check. Nope, no woman/women. Therefore, this is probably not a sex injury. Then I think about drink consumption and incidences of falling over when wearing non-Chuck Taylor footwear. I don't recall falling over and blacking out. Agony!!!! My favourite thing to do (lying down) is now painful! I maintain it's the heels. Never again.
PS: the day after the Ball consisted of the following; 3 hours sleep after deciding that going on the internet would be a good way to ‘send’ me to sleep. I eventually passed out at 4am. Spent morning looking at Hyperbole blog archives and pictures of naked women. Abby Winters you minx. I like naked women. Course you do precious, you aren't hetero! Don't believe their lies!!
Call for food from Indie at 3.30pm. Arrive at dirty fast food joint in trackies and hoodie and uggies. Quite content in my belief that no self respecting lezza is ever gonna spot me there.
Charlie x
Have a good weekend my lovelies. Wishing you many sex injuries. Indie x.
