The Criteria

This is how it's going to work. Forgive us if we get sidetracked...

• Name of establishment
• Date reviewed
• Time reviewed
• Drunkenness: Based on the number of rounds consumed by the group at time of review. We realise this will have an impact on how awesome we think the place is.
• Density: Number of lesbians observed by reviewers. Rating scale: Low - Medium - High - Panic Attack [Note: I tend to get overwhelmed in situations where there are large quantities of lesbians. It's just too much for my little brain that is quite used to being a minority all of the time, hence the 'Panic Attack' on scale. Indie.]
• Quality: Of lesbians on the premises. Rating scale: Low - Medium - High - Cuntstruck [Note: Sorry if the C-bomb offends you but this is one of my favourite words. Introduced to me by JJ, in this case it is referred to that moment when you see a hot chick that makes you stutter, drop your drink, giggle stupidly about nothing and generally nonverbal when you attempt to converse, and worst of all - you probably have lettuce in your teeth as you try to approach her. Being cuntstruck affects even the coolest and hippest of lesbians. YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE!]
• Types: I'm sure this will cause great debate. Everyone loves a label. Will discuss further as applied.
• Engagement: Level of interaction between lesbians of premises and reviewers. Rating scale: Low - Medium - High - Toilet shag
• Food/Drink: Quality rating. Rating scale: Low - Medium - High
• Service: Quality of interaction AND Quality of eyecandy. Rating scale: Low - Medium - High
• Toilet shag worthy? Hygiene rating: Yes/No
• Score: Number of reviewers who literally score on premises or as a result of attending premises.
• Notes and photos will also be provided

Possible panic attack density level (http://www.boston.com/thingstodo/gotoit/2008/09/_lets_face_it_b.html)

Indie.