Girl Party USA

This is a rundown of my recent travels by night in New York and San Francisco. I’m sure you understand there were more adventures than I’m willing to share so this will be a review of the regular girl parties I attended, minus a few intimate details...

Be wary that if you are off on a trip to the USA, the parties and venues do change. The scene is competitive and new events are added all the time.

No sleep for Indie in New York City

Arriving in New York from Philadelphia on a bus, I promptly got lost using the subway, eventually found my backpackers, dropped my luggage and went out for food and drinks, of course. I didn’t know a soul but I had done my Google search: “lesbian New York” and found out that on Tuesday nights there was Snapshot in Union Square. Internet. Amazing stuff. My plan was to party Tuesday through Saturday and see as much of this crazy massive city. No time for sleep on this adventure.


TUESDAYS:
Snapshot
Bar 13 in Union Square
13th Street at University Place

Walked into Bar 13 and ordered a beer. I was obviously too early. There was a mixed crowd. I heard some dude say he loved being here on Tuesday nights: I think he was referring to the fact that there was a trickle of our lesbifriends walking in. It never got packed that night, but it does at times I’ve heard and they have special events. As far as I’m concerned, if anything at all is happening and I can get a drink all night on a Tuesday, I’m one happy Kiwi. Another girl was by herself at the bar. She was from Amsterdam. Hmmm...promising…until she left to head to another lesbo bar, Henrietta Hudson, to get hit on by oldbians. I ended up chatting to the bartender, the professional lesbian, Sabrina. Turns out Sabrina is quite the local celesbian and is one of the frontrunners in lesbian party promoting in New York. Sabrina gave me a list of night spots for my stay in the city and I was set. I read on AfterEllen.com once I got home to Canberra that there was an Evan Rachel Wood sighting at Snapshot the night I was there. I didn’t notice. Uncanny really, since I’m a big fan of lesbian vampires. I must have been distracted. All I know is that I was there until closing and found myself getting lost on the subway at 3am and entering a completely deserted Times Square in my attempt to find ‘home’. Never thought I’d find an empty place in New York.


WEDNESDAYS:
Crème de la Femme
Union Square Lounge, below the Coffee Shop
30 E 16th Street (at Union Square West)

Crème de la Femme is a Sabrina creation, along with her “twin” Nikki and Maggie C. It was their intention to provide a party for women that played music beyond top 40 and the expectation that the girls would dress better than in flannel – you’re in the big city now, sweetheart, “dress to impress”. As a result it is a little on the pretentious side, but that’s probably all good if you’re with your posse. A little old kiwi and outsider found it hard to get in with these classy ladies. But then again, I’ve always liked them a little rougher around the edges. New York isn’t all class and the seedy underbelly is just as fun, which I found the following night – it is far too incomprehensible in my head to put into text. Sorry ladyfags, that one is all mine.


FRIDAYS:
Lesbo-A-Go-Go
Stonewall Inn
53 Christopher Street

That’s right, the Stonewall. Boys downstairs. Girls upstairs. Sabrina on bar. Go-go girls on the stage. Go-go girls. Seriously need them in Australia. It ain’t a girl night without them. So Stonewall is a massive historic landmark for the gays (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stonewall_riots). Pretty sure I thought it would be a good idea to make my mark on this landmark by having sex in the toilets, or at least try... Sometimes I’m not so smart. These toilets were definitely not up to Speck's shagability rating.

New York is full of all of the stuff. There’s something for everyone: the ‘A’ list lesbo at Crème, the slutty lesbo at The Cubbyhole, the hipster in East Village, the crack whore and her band downstairs at The Delancey. There’s nothing like this place.

Updates of the scene at:
http://www.gomag.com/
http://www.afterellen.com/taxonomy/term/6605

San Francisco, be sure to wear flowers in your hair

I was sad to leave NYC so soon but I know I’ll be back. I’m a beatnik at heart so San Fran was for me but I won’t bore you with the details of my obsession for Jack Kerouac and the City Lights bookshop.

You’re not really gay until you know about the Castro, the gay rights movement and Harvey Milk. Seriously, watch the freaking movie if you know nothing. Yes, the Castro is definitely boys town – think Oxford Street but smaller with rainbow flags lining the street. Most of the clubs are mixed but there are some definitely strictly men zones and there are girl night dance parties in the Castro. The only lesbian bar in San Fran is in the Mission: dirtier, poorer and hipsterish compared to the neighbouring Castro. The Mission is drug-laden with Hispanic gangs, thrift stores and secondhand books. Dirty, run down: so Indie. It’s where I stayed for a week. (Get the lowdown in Michelle Tea novels like Valencia.) The lesbian bar, The Lexington Club (3464 19th Street), is a dive bar with a jukebox and pool table. It's pretty small and can be found on a side street between Valencia and Mission. There were a bunch of regulars who were not too hard to have a chat to. ‘The Lex’ is your “friendly neighbourhood dyke bar”. NEVER KNEW SUCH A THING EXISTED!

Toilet of 'The Lex'

2nd SATURDAY OF MONTH:

Cockblock
The Rickshaw Stop
155 Fell Street

I arrived in San Francisco totally hungover from my night at Stonewall in New York. I hadn’t slept except for the times I passed out in the airport and on the plane and on the BART train in San Fran...I’m lucky I got to my hostel at all. I was so tired but I had to do it. I had to see San Fran lesbians on a Saturday night. There was a party called Cockblock on. Gotta say, not keen on the name. This party’s major draw card is that if you pay a little more on entry you get a cup and endless amounts of beer refills. Messssssy! And these girls GRIND! They don’t dance. I’m sorry, I don’t know your name and we’re not hooking up yet and I’m not sure that we’re gonna, so why are we grinding? I felt like a 13 year old again, pressed up against some unknown teenage boy. Yes, I was that uncomfortable with this. Look, if you wanna get that close to me, we’ll just go out in the alley and have a root, okay?

Go-go you good thing, She said... @ Trigger

TUESDAYS:

She said...
Trigger
2344 Market Street

I don’t care that the music sucked, yes, let’s listen to Rihanna over and over again, because this party rocked. It’s brand new in the Castro and it’s taking over the whole girl scene apparently. Pretty sophisticated really considering how completely slutty the whole affair was. I don’t know how slutty can be sophisticated but it just was. Three or four go- go dancers on the bar with one in a cage in the centre of the bar. And they were HOT!!! Yes, I objectify women. SO FUCKING WHAT?! My poor little eyes didn’t know where to look. The music can suck if I’ve got plenty of entertainment. Sorry Lesbo-a-Go-Go, for dancers Trigger has it going on and is a party above the rest. The place was packed, everyone was drunk, and I was starting to get the hang of this grinding thing by the end of the night. It’s a shame to get kicked out at 2am. But that’s pretty normal in America. I plan on bringing this to little ol’ Canberra.

That's enough of my shenanigans for now. Happy summer loving lesbos. More from us in that place that you know and love, Canberra, soon.

Indie

Canberra: EPIC Markets

Hey there lesbos. This is the start of the Canberra reviews. They'll come slow and steady. We'll cover all sorts of hangouts we've found while living here as well as the predictable places, like Cube.

Today I start with EPIC markets, which are on Saturdays from 8 til 11 am at Exhibition Park - http://www.capitalregionfarmersmarket.com.au

Date reviewed: 3rd July 2010

Time reviewed: around 10am

Drunkenness: Zero, not even any residual rounds from the night before
Density: Medium
Quality: Medium
Types: It's a Saturday morning so the leso style of choice is trackies and hoodies
Engagement: Low
Food/Drink: High - look out for the free samples
Service: Varies from stall to stall considerably, but generally low
Toilet shag worthy? No toilets as far as I know
Score: 0

The downfall of attending the markets is there is a mix of people who are hanging around drinking coffee and well, probably perving, and others who go in to shop and then leave. My uber-cool and savvy gaydar sidekick, Charlie, should have had her game on this particular Saturday but I think she gets distracted by the food and losing me amongst the masses. The other big problem at the markets: couples! Hopefully, Charlie and I don't get mistaken for a couple (Dude, we totally do. I think it's the way you touch my hair ... - Charlie) . I feel I remedy this by going on little walks by myself to high in female density areas of the markets. The markets don't just attract food-searching lesbians, but also food-searching cohabiting lesbians. Groan.

There's a few types to avoid, that's for sure.

1. Trolley-wielders. They are bolshy. I have a very low tolerance for the trolley-ers.

And watch out for IBT - Injury By Trolley. There's a lot of shoving and elbows that makes me feel unstable, angry and caffeine deprived. Mornings are hard enough without the competitive behaviour that seems to go with buying a loaf of bread.

P.S. Trolley-wielders never look like this:

2. Hippy lesos. They won't let you eat steak and non-organic, even when you're poor. They're probably in a drum circle group too. And they din't always shower and wash their hair regularly. You like me heaps when I stereotype, huh? That's right, you love it.

3. And of course, the married couples.

Epic is my favourite spot for a Saturday morning. And the less hardcore shoppers who are just there to hang out appear around 9 or 10. Early is painful and boring. There definitely are regulars, which includes a healthy dose of local lesbians. You know who you are ;) Oh yeah, there's food there too.

Indie.

Newtown

So the "gayest" place in Sydney, and perhaps Australia was a massive disappointment... but we're willing to give it another chance. We're REQUIRED to give it another chance... it's just not possible that it could be that bad... is it?

We lobbed into Newtown at around 5 o'clock and found a great (free) parking spot just off the main drag in the 'burbs (ooo ooo ooo and we saw lezzo couples walking down the street holding hands! we LOVE that!!), then wandered up to our hotel for the evening. Much to my horror, Indie had booked us in to a Youth Hostel - albeit the gayest website page owning Hostel ever... check it out "The Abbey on King". Despite the nightmares running around and around in my head clearly defining what we were about to be subjected to, it wasn't all that bad. Our room was small and smelled a bit strange - but so does most of Sydney as it turns out. The bathroom on our floor was gross and had no hot water and no toilet paper and the light kept turning off before you'd had time to dack yourself let alone do anything else... but of course, I was well prepared with all the necessities. The bathroom upstairs was not too shabby. I've seen worse toilets in bars and cafes... in fact I saw a few that were worse on our trek around Newie. The showers were pretty good. STACKS of hot water and the doors and walls went right to the floor (I like that - less chance of uptwatting on your uncovered and unsuspecting twat). The other residents - well, one was pleasant and helpful - the other 2 we saw (and heard) were... probably YHAbians.

Anyway, blah blah, enough about the accommodation that was not fabulously populated with all sorts of fun lesbians.

Round 1 was the Albion Place Hotel (technically, this was closer to round 5, but seeing as it was the heavy weights Speck and Indie, it's pretty much the same as Round 1 for everyone else ;-) )

Saturday 26th of June around 7pm
Low level of drunkeness
No lesbians
No engagement
The staff were rude
The beer was just beer
BUT the toilet (upstairs) was just LOVELY (I did consider coming back there to sleep at one point)

Around 8 o'clock we went across to the Metro to see Operator Please. We weren't going to review this because it was a concert - but it turned out we had to because that's the place we had the most fun. Which started when we lined up and a totally hot lezzo with ye olde style biker/jail bird tattoos of "LOVE"/"HATE" tattooed across her knuckles came to give us our "old enough to drink" bracelets.

So.. at the Metro, the level of drunkeness became moderate, there was a low to medium density of lesbians (way more gay boys and I'll let Indie fill in that story if she feels like it), plenty of engagement all over the place with all types of people, the staff were awesome and the drinks were reeeeeeeeaaal easy to get. The toilets were definitely not shagworthy.

It didn't take Indie long to spy a couple of hotties. I was very excited when she pointed them out and was clearly about to share with me the plan of attack... this became significantly less exciting when her plan of attack was for ME to engage them in conversation (that is NOT my super power!). Luckily we didn't have to engage them, they engaged us. That's way more fun :-). Turns out they were straight, with all the little hetero quirks we've come to expect. For example - the romantic quirk - Bec to Indie "Where are you from Indie?", Indie says "New Zealand", Bec nods knowingly "oh, so you moved here for Erika did you?". There's a severe gap in the conversation at this point while I struggle mightily not to laugh uproariously and while Indie runs the question through her head again and again and again, trying to understand it. At one point I see panic on her face as she realises she's forgotten how to decipher the Australian language, but then I see it dawn on her that, no, she does in fact understand all those words on their own, it's just the concept that that particular grouping is attempting to convey that she doesn't understand.

Two gay girls in a club together ≠ couple.

Operator Please rocked! And then it was back to Newtown to check out the Lesbian nightlife... pfft...

First stop - Zanzibar. It was fucking packed. That was the first surprise and not only to us. The staff and a few of the patrons I engaged were also surprised. They put it down to the Bank being closed (according to the sign up at the Bank there had been a "big fire" and there was nothing left but a "big mess"). So...

It was approximately midnight
Drunkeness was still moderate and required escalation (ie shots)
Density was moderate
Quality was good
Types were varied
Engagement with the lesbians was low. Indie was refusing to play. I think I managed to throw in a "hypothetically speaking..."
The drinks were good
The toilet was definitely not shagworthy
And I saved the rating for the staff for last because they get an "OMG to cuntstruck". The two women that were behind the bar that night were stunningly beautiful.
Basically if we'd been two hetero girls on a night out we'd have been set. Many, many straight men and all of them friendly. I've invented a new way of getting around them. I don't think explaining it would do it justice however, would it Indie? I think it's something you'd have to see.

So some lezzo's pointed us in the direction of the Sly Fox. They were very encouraging. Said that the Sly was the place the "ladeez" would be at. Looking back, I think the chicks that told us that were just threatened by Indie and wanted her out of Zanzibar...

The Sly Fox
Time - around 2/2.30am
Drunkeness - slightly more than moderate
Density - zero
Quality - below zero (and this applies to EVERYTHING, not just the patronage)
Types - not ours
Engagement - avoided it
Service - Kudos to them that they can stand working there
Toilets - Are you fucking kidding? There was NO WAY I was either leaving Indie alone or putting any part of myself anywhere near a toilet in this place

First off - I'd say it's only polite to forewarn potential patrons that you're showing PORN on your big screen - dirty dirty hetero PORN. I don't want to watch that... ever! And I certainly don't want to watch it in some dirty-arse pub surrounded by drunk blokes whilst being assaulted by whatever that noise was coming out of the speaker system. We'd heard this was one of the top spots in Newtown. Epic fail from this reviewer I'm afraid.

Speck

In search of the elusive lesbian

So we’re heading to the gayest place in the country: Newtown. Two of us are there for one night only. If you have suggestions for what’s on this Saturday night let us know.

Kage and JJ will attempt to find lesbians in the circle pits at Karnivool.

And Charlie will make us international and add her photo search of all things lesbian in Europe once she gets over her jetlag.

See all you good-looking ladies in the weekend.

Indie.